Okay, so my cousin Gina sends me a message on Myspace. No biggie, we randomly contact one another since we have some of the same interests. However, this message deeply upsets me. It's an invite...to a surprise get-together on Sept. 25th for my sister's birthday (who doesn't read this blog, so no worries) that's being held by Gina, Sonya, Christy, and Amanda. Okay, so I'm happy Laura is turning 17, but...I just feel like I'll be odd person out if I go. I was invited...which means, obviously, that I had NOTHING to do with the organizing. I'm a party guest at my own sisters party...that sounds like there's nothing wrong with that, but there is. I always feel like this at family functions...Like I'm only being invited because I have to be.
That all sounds a little selfish, but I'm sorry. I do want to celebrate my sister's birth, but I don't want to be treated like I'm a horrible person for not being the one to think of it first. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh, they're you're family and they're just trying to do what's nice for Laura." That would be utterly fantastic if that were true. But I know my bloodline. They like to play big. They can't help it, it's genetic. But...well, right now I'm just flailing for words. Just reading that email gave me an awful feeling and made me want to cry.
Am I a horrible person? Should I go or not? I just don't know.
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