Chocolate Covered and Slightly Crazed

     Well, I haven’t blogged since January 1st. That’s never a good sign, right? So, in this long awaited (okay, not) post, I’ll attempt to explain why. I’ll also catch you up on my life in general. I’ll begin with the obvious.
     I still don’t have a vehicle. It’s becoming a real bitch to find one. Enough said on that. I’m moving on.
     Work. Ah, the daily grind. This is gonna be long. Deep breath, folks, we’re diving in. January is a dead month in Chocolate Land. Really. Everyone’s wallets are recovering from Xmas, and no one wants to spend that kind of money on gourmet chocolate. So hours were hard to come by. Meanwhile, I was dealing with a lot of personal and financial issues outside of work. I had no money, no car, worried about food, worried about where we were staying, and I’ll admit it: I became horribly depressed. I never said as much to anyone, but I did. I had trouble sleeping, and when I did it was always too much that never felt like enough. I cried almost every night. It was hard. Obviously, that affected my work. And my bosses noticed. They called me out on it—on the day I had discovered I was overdrawn, somehow, on my bank account… not that they knew that—saying that it seemed as if I didn’t want to be there at all. This, of course, climaxed after closing one night and forgetting to do something very important that I got into a heap of trouble for. This was approaching Valentine’s Day now—when I would get more hours. I had made a new friend, but I was still feeling lost. Our store’s DM was coming soon, and my manager mentioned that she was afraid to work me because he might fire me for the “deer in headlights” look I seemed to be giving everyone. Not something I needed to hear. But V-Day came and went. My new friend had come to the decision to quit Godiva and go with her other two jobs. I didn’t blame her—and still don’t. Three jobs. Come on. Things weren’t getting any better for reasons I’m still unsure of, at work or at home. A new employee was brought on to replace my friend, and then the DM arrived. On my birthday, by the way. Which I was scheduled to work, and then got cut. But I’m pretty sure, looking back, that this was my turning point. I still had a good birthday. Better than last year’s, to be sure. I think I had decided then that my life was what it was at the moment. If I wanted happiness back, I was going to have to just take it. And take it I did. Following that day, I was just happy. Finding whatever I could to be happy about. Sunnydale Crossing—an art group on Deviantart—had restarted their couples’ contest. So I started doing photo manips again—check out my link on the right to see some! Sometime later, the assistant manager quit (drama here I’ll skip as I wasn’t really involved). After that, two other associates quit (rather recently and suddenly). That has left Godiva with only our general manager, myself, and two other associates on schedule. That’s… it. Yes, as you may guess, I’m getting hours now. Not complaining. We’ve only hired one more person, and summer’s dead. We might not be hiring any more. We’ve gone from a staff of 10… to 5. Yikes. But things are… smoother, somehow. That’s the entirely too condensed version of life at Godiva… but I’ll just say this: crap happened.
     Which moves to me writing. In short, I did none. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Wasn’t helping my mood at home either. And although I’m loving those extra hours on my check, it’s not helping my writing time. But that’s only my fault. I’ve been lazy. I could write on my days off. But I don’t always do… until just the other day. I decided that if I needed to write, then I was going to write. And I did. I sent off an original fiction story, decided which OF I was sending off next (after edits), and finished a chapter of Trials (what? Fanfic relaxes me).
     And that brings me to the part of this I’ve been dreading the most. Resolution update. Have I completed all the challenges entered? No. In fact, I dropped out of two. I actually wanted to vomit. I was so angry with myself for this. I’ve thought about doing the unofficial tracks for these two… still thinking on that. Then it wouldn’t be quitting, right? Right? Have I finished a novel and/or novella? Did you read above? No. But it’s always on my mind. This is my year, and I know that. Am I married? No, damn it. I’m not. But this damn year’s not over yet! Have I been eating better? I work in a damn mall! No. Have I finished any of those fanfics listed in the last post? No! But! I’m so close. I know that’ll happen. Have I started any of those other listed fics? No… but that’s fandom fear holding me back.
    To sum up, I’ve still got seven damn months of 2012 left. Don’t count me out yet. To end on some bright notes, I’ve had some works released. Here’s the info on that:

My story, "Mirror Image," appears here, and it's a truly wonderful anthology.

My short story, "Ties," appears here.  I'll be honest.. I haven't read this one yet.

My flash fiction, "Bad News," appears here.  I honestly can't wait to read this one!



     Also, I got my first royalty check. It was about $20 more than what I expected. Always good. And best of all… my story, “The Curious Tale of Elizabeth Nigel” will be published. The editor of the anthology, Clockwork Chaos, Mr. Neal Levin found a new home for it! I’ll explain in a later post why this is so awesome!

     So, what can you expect from this blog in the future? Well, I think I’m going to review the chocolate of Godiva. I’m going to list some of my original fiction projects. I’m also thinking of doing a post that’ll be a quote game! And I promise I won’t take as long to post again. Also, I’m getting a tooth pulled Saturday. I’ll be sure to let the world hear about that. Until next time!